Dustin Eyejuice – Introducing Hammers

In this series of segments, local man (thick Plymouthian accent, aged about 29.. not a janner as such) Dustin Eyejuice offers helpful advice to listeners as well as complaints about the show. Each segment should be recorded in the style of a message he left on an answering machine.
In this second segment, Dustin calls to complain that the first Plymcast wasn’t really what he expected. Also, it seems his address got cut off and nobody bought his surfboards or his CD, and the gas board came over and cut him off, so he’s been having to eat all his food uncooked and simply imagine it was warm, which has made him feel quite unwell.

[FX: Beep]
DUSTIN
Is this Plymcast? Dustin Eyejuice here… I would like to voice my opinion that your first show was in fact, rubbish. You barely touched on some of the wonderful architecture in the city of Plymouth, you didn’t mention the Mayflower steps and least of all, you failed to mention my favourite pub, Hammer’s, on Sebastian Avenue. Come to Hammer’s on a Friday and get two for one Egg and Chips with a pint of any soft drink for an extra 30p. Also, my address seemed to get cut off, and as a result nobody bought my pens or my greatest hits CD, which coupled with the fact you never paid me has meant I’ve been cut off by the gas board and I’ve spent the last week having to eat all my food cold and uncooked and then trying to imagine it was cooked. It’s harder than it sounds too, and the girl I met in the hospital hasn’t written back to me since I served her a bowl of cold soup and made her think it was warm and that she was just going a little bit mad. Anyway, please make your show more locally relevant, and if you can send me any gas, that’d be useful. Bye.

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